Finding Father

Finding Father

PAINTING BY DIVYASA MISHRA (RIYA)

It is often implicit that, every daughter looks for some glimpse of their father in their significant other. For many I am sure, this is an unrealistic quest, like looking for a pin in a stack of hay, or a pearl in the desert sand.  I am not trying to undermine the men in our life, but for a daughter a father is mostly on a citadel where idols are kept. How can a human compete with GOD? Yes, most of the times (except in some unfortunate cases) our fathers are the epitome of an ideal human being. There is a veil of respect, awe and admiration through which we always view our fathers. For a son (I may be wrong being a women) feelings toward their father changes color until a time comes when it adheres to that of a daughter. In childhood, a son views a father with wonderment and reverence, in youth he rebels or pictures the father as a competitor or antagonist (trying to prove himself to his father), when he begins to understand fatherhood through his own experience as an adult, it transforms into love and respect again.  In the words of  Charles Wadsworth "By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong."

No matter how our experiences we all value or long for love from our father figures. Some are blessed to be showered with these graces and some are left famished. "I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection." -- Sigmund Freud. A father is very important for us, but most of us would ascribe words like strong, staunch, strict rather than soft and loving to our fathers.  It is often easy to ascribe the word love to a mother- she gives birth to us, tolerates our tantrums with a smile, forgets her own welfare as she attends to our needs. It may be because when we join two opposing worlds our lives become more complete. We enjoy the warmth and comfort of our homes better when we know that the foundations are strong , the walls support the roof, which in turn keep away the rain and wind. We often base our understanding of fatherly love on these precincts "The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat." -- Robert Frost

Yet encompassed within the strong exterior is a loving heart. Our fathers must have turned dewy eyed when they first laid eyes upon us. Some may have been too mortified to hold us in their arms, least they harm such a fragile creature. How many beats would their hearts have escaped when they rushed us to hospital or saw us lay sick in bed? He too would have skipped dinner s awaiting the phone to ring and inform him of our whereabouts. We would have broken his heart a thousand times, when we misunderstood him, blunted out harsh words in our teenage rage. A few tears would have escaped his frigid eyes as he watched the anguish of the father in “The father of the bride.” He may have been a mighty mountain but I know now that deep within he hides a sea of love. HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!!